So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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