Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
