operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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