yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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