How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
