I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
