i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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