he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
