Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Dignity is for republicans.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
