Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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