Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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