talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
