what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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