just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
