I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
