I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
