i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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