all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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