if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Pappa wants mamma naked
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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