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Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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