who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
