Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Randomize