lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize