I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
