i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
