The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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