He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
