He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
