phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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