yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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