ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
