In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize