We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
