billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
