Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize