I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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