Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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