I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
