So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
