the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
