You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
