shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize