dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
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