So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Michael Bay diarrhea
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
