Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
