by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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