Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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