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• (707): View more from California

  Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.

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• (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?

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• (360): View more from Washington

  It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud

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