Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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