Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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