Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
