I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
