It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize