My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
