i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
