just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
