if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
