you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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