Small penises have feelings too.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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