More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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