no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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