do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
