1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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